This is a sad day for the English language

What is NZQA thinking?

Rant: Desperate to be a Housewife

I’ve come to realise that, when it comes to your future employment, we’re deceived as children. As an intelligent young girl, I was put into advanced classes and taught “enriched” curriculums of maths and science. Throughout my school career I was encouraged to think about my future and which course I would take at University. The whole of my life was centred on my school education – the rest was just “extra-curricular”. Through my university studies, I felt I was still aiming for something – my “career”. I went overseas briefly, and then it began. To cut a long story short, 4 jobs and 5 years later I am entirely disenchanted with the whole process. Job satisfaction has slipped from average to non-existent, and I know I’m not alone.

So why did all of our teachers, role models and other leaders always tell us that we should spend our formative years solely preparing for this disappointment? Why didn’t they tell us that even if we slogged through our uni years and graduate with flying colours, we’d still be stuck with thousands of other graduates in the same un-fulfilling jobs? At least the let-down wouldn’t be so bad. At least we’d be prepared for the daily grind. But they would get us so excited about “our callings”, neglecting to tell us that if we chose anything half exciting it would probably lead to unstable employment at best, and that the more regular career paths would lead to daily dread.

If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken Home Ec at college. Surely learning how to run a successful household is more important than calculus? It completely baffles me how people can be so ambitious and strive to work longer hours and incorporate more stress into their lives (aka promotion). I have absolutely none of this ambition. My main goal in life right now is to finish off my novel, fight to get it published, and make enough money from it so that I can take a break to write the next one. In other words, I strive to leave the corporate world behind and focus on domestic matters. The long-term goals involve is for my husband, whose chosen passion will actually earn some money, to be the “breadwinner” and “bring home the bacon”. Will I actually get to enjoy life before the kids come along though? This is my dilemma. And this is the end of my rant. More upbeat, quirky posts in my usual tone to follow soon.

This is just getting ridiculous!

$1.43 for cheap petrol?!

In my opinion the government should reduce the insipid extra 5c tax they imposed on us earlier this year. They were already getting half of the petrol revenue before they did that! They need to look past trying to look "green", and see that there are vital components of transport which will always need to function (like trucks, planes, emergency vehicles) and this tax will just increase the cost of living for everyone down the consumption line. It is not just a case of not being able to afford to drive to the supermarket, it's a case of soon not being able to afford the groceries once you get there. Something must be done.

NZ Idol v2

I see that the queues are forming again for the NZ Idol auditions. That’s all well and good, but what happened to our winner from last year, Ben Lummis? He was crowned with much glory, and had heaps of publicity for about a month, while he released one single and an album. But then what happened? Where were the follow up singles, the signings, the concerts, etc etc? Apparently the recording contract is for a year. We haven’t heard a peep out of the young man for months on end. Which is quite a pity, because he has an amazing talent. I suppose he will just fade into obscurity now. Hopefully he got what he wanted out of the whole experience.

Will the same thing happen this year? For the auditionees, I suppose the possibility of appearing on television is enough motivation for them. But if it were me (and I’m far too shy!) I would be wondering about the validity of the actual prize.

'Dancing with the Stars' Travesty

I was shocked last night when Bernice and D'Artangan were voted out, and Tim and Rebecca remained! I'm sure Tim is a very nice guy, and it's nice that the South Island is behind him, but Bernice is a far superior dancer. This is a dancing competition, people!

If Tim and Rebecca can get such poor scores from the judges and still pull through, that means they have a chance of winning the whole competition, which would be terribly unjust. Come on, New Zealand, vote for one of the couples who can dance well (either Norm and Carol-Ann, or Shane and Nerida). This competition should be won on merit, not just popularity.

On hair and de ja movies

First, I’d just like to say how nice it is to see Oprah wearing her hair in a thick, curly style. When I wear mine like that because I have no other choice, at least I can think that she had her hair like that and it looked okay. The only thing is she’s black, so it looks normal, whereas I am pale and freckly and stand out. Oh well – it gives me some hope for future hair fashion trends.

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I was reading about Ashton Kutcher’s new movie, “A Lot Like Love” just now. Am I the only one who thinks it sound exactly the same as “When Harry Met Sally?”. There’s no possible way it could be a better movie. Why don’t they just describe it as: “A bad modern re-make of the classic WHMS”? Just be honest.

Cut off from the world

Sometime on Sunday night, our phone went dead. When we discovered this on Monday morning and I eventually got hold of Telecom at work, they advised there had been a fault with a cable in our area and the men were working on it. I called them again just before leaving work - they promised it would be fixed by 7pm. The phone has only just been reconnected, at 1pm the following day. It's funny how isolated you feel without connection to the outside world! Were we missing important (or just friendly) calls? What emails were we getting? How weird not to be able to use the internet.

Now we're connected again, thank goodness. Telecom will be paying our bill this month, so I suppose that's a consolation. Their guidelines are so ridiculous: "If you have a fault with your phone, call us on this number." How can I call you when my phone is dead? "If you need a phone, contact us." How can I contact you when I don't have a phone? *shakes head in disillusion*

Free Speech?

I read this article this morning. Actress Maggie Gyllenhaal is promoting her new movie, which is about the aftermath of "9/11". In discussing the film, she said, "I think America has done reprehensible things and is responsible in some way and so I think the delicacy with which it's dealt allows that to sort of creep in".

Now, by and large, Americans seem to think that their country is a modern day hero, faultless in every respect and never deserving of any critcism. This softly spoken actress has apparently caused a violent response to her interesting opinion. The article goes on to say:

"Fan Web site www.maggie-gyllenhaal.net, which has no official links to the actress, said its server had been overloaded and crashed, a day after it was forced to take down a bulletin board due to the volume of critical messages being left on it.

"It's gotten too outta hand," the webmaster of the site wrote after earlier appeals for people not to send hate mail."

Poor Gyllenhaal had to then issue a statement saying she thought that 9/11 was a tragedy. She also said, "But for those of us who were spared, it was also an occasion to be brave enough to ask some serious questions about America's role in the world. Because it is always useful, as individuals or nations to ask how we may have knowingly or unknowingly contributed to this conflict. Not to have the courage to ask these questions of ourselves is to betray the victims of 9/11."

Well said.

Now, just a couple of disturbing points arising from this story:

- Don't Americans rant and rave about free speech, equal rights, and the right to question their government? Do these high principles only come with the condition: "If the opinion is the same as mine, and always makes my country sound like the good guy?"

Sometimes we do need to look inward and see what part we've had to play, even if accidental, in certain events. Gyllenhaal is just suggesting that America should examine its own role in events surrounding the horrific incident. I myself think that this examination is a very good idea, particularly if another incident is to be avoided! Why should a perfectly logical point of view be scorned? Isn't Gyllenhaal allowed to have her opinion, even if it did turn out to be wrong? And isn't she entitled to express that opinion?

- The poor webmaster. Why is it that these people who see their polished self identity coming under attack feel the need to "flame" a fan site, and send hate mail to an innocent fan? What good is that possibly going to accomplish? A less cowardly response would be to write to Ms Gyllenhaal, or to start an intelligent public debate in a chosen media. Wounded patriots seem incapable of a rational response. What a pity.

Rant: Bits and pieces

*shiver* It seems that winter has arrived overnight. A few days ago everyone was at the beach, but for the first time this morning I woke up cold and in need of my slippers. In this temporate climate, we only seem to have two seasons, not four. It is a beautiful morning though. Blue, clear and crisp. Now bring on the snow so I can go skiing.

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I saw on Campbell Live last night that workers are complaining about being tested for drugs while they're on the job. Nandor Tanczos was whining about violation of rights - that he only smokes in his spare time and that others should be allowed to do the same without being punished at work. Hello! It is illegal to smoke cannabis *anywhere*. Those who do it don't have any rights to protection. Whether they're found at home or work, it doesn't matter. They shouldn't be smoking drugs anywhere. I note with satisfaction that Mr Tanczos has slipped down the party ranking this morning.

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It saddens me to think that people generally have no conscience. I was appalled to walk out to my car the other day and find yet another dent caused by someone else. Standard practice used to be to leave your details so that the afflicted person could claim on your insurance to fix their car. I cannot afford the bill or the insurance excess to fix my car, so it will stay dented. That makes the fourth time someone has done this to me - and I always park in perfectly respectable places! The first (and most major) time, I paid out to get it fixed. Now these three other dents will just have to stay on my car and decrease its value. I couldn't live with myself if I did that to someone else and just drove away. Where have all the decent people gone?

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And now to end on a positive - it's a long weekend! YAY! And I would like to announce that I have now written 80,000 words for my novel. It's coming along nicely, and will continue to if I can just stop procrastinating and do the hard yards. Mmm, nice hot milo. Now I'm warming up.

Rant: American "Ingenuity"

Today, I had the distinct displeasure of being stuck behind something on the way home from work. One of those rare, yet utterly OTT objects known as the American Car. A Dodge, to be precise.

Not only are these cars too wide, too long, and too UGLY for Kiwi roads, they have a fundamental and dangerous design flaw. They don't have indicators. This Dodge I encountered today happily swerved in and out of lanes without doing anything at all, but on one occasion I thought I could spot his brake light flicking (the evening sun was bright, so it was hard to tell).

Is this what passes for an indicator in the US? Why do they not make nice bright yellow lights to sit on the front and back of the car like normal countries? Do they have anything at all on the front of the car to indicate a turn, or do the headlights just flash on and off when it's dark? It's a mystery to me. A note to American inventors: making something different and less functional isn't cool. And that goes for the way you've messed with the English language as well.

The Challenge for Maori

I watched most of the item on 60 Minutes last night entitled “A Maori Challenge”. Looking at the terrible rates of crime amongst young Maori, it broke the myths that:

- Maori are committing crimes because they are poor.

The ratios of poverty:population in Maori and Pakeha were actually inverted. Pakeha have a much higher percentage of people below the poverty line than Maori, yet Maori have a far higher crime rate. I was shocked to learn these figures.

- Pacific Islanders commit a similar rate of crime as Maori.

Maori have a far higher crime rate than Pacific Islanders.

- If Maori become educated in the Pakeha system, they will lose their empowerment.

The opposite is in fact true! If Maori become better educated, they will regain their voice and increase their authority.

The woman who spoke about Maori and education was brilliant. The young criminals they talked to looked like they had lost all mental capacity, and merely looked to music videos and their mates for guidance on how to be cool and acceptable. One young man said that when he was committing crimes, it did not even seem criminal. He was just doing what these influences directed.

There are a few main negative influences on the lives of young Maori, promoting physical aggression. One is a culture called “staunch”, which encourages tough, even violent behaviour in the home and in society. Vulnerability and kindness are dirty words. These young people are proud to be “staunch”.

The second is modern hip hop music videos, known as “gangsta rap”. These modern day gangstas are aspirational figures to these young minds – driving around in expensive modified cars, scantily clad women at their sides, a gun in their hand and jewels on their fingers. The message is negative, but it does not stop these “artists” from being a powerful kind of role model for their audience. They have power, wealth, women and apparently a great lifestyle, and the thinking is that the only way urban Maori can achieve that lifestyle is to cheat, steal and maim…. all in the name of impressing their mates and achieving some kind of backwards self esteem.

The final and probably most perplexing influence is at the core of modern Maori culture. The traditional war haka is the key element of cultural expression for Maori in our time. Originally intended to intimidate the opposition in a real warring situation, it is now used for everything from sporting matches to welcome ceremonies. It promotes violence for no reason, and is but a small part of a richer culture. The 60 Minutes piece showed a dance troupe practising a new kind of dance-haka which used traditional movements in a non-intimidating way. That would certainly be a healthier outlet. It seems a shame to focus on the one element of the culture which promotes violence.

While the programme offered no more suggestions for how to help the situation, even just increasing awareness of these facts and factors must help. It seems that a fundamental mind shift must take place in the Maori community if the situation is going to change.

Take me home

Home. It's a powerful concept. I was mulling this over as I was listening to Michael Buble's song "Home". Bryan McFadden's "Real to Me" echoes the same sentiment. These pop stars get to travel all over the world doing exciting things, but when it comes down to it they just want to go home. I can understand that. When I was tripping round Europe for over 3 months non-stop, I too yearned for the familiar surroundings and people I'd left behind (the fact that I was lugging around 20 kilos on my back and suffering sleepless nights in crowded rooms may have had something to do with it). Even though I had the time of my life and I don't regret anything, I've resolved that any future traveling will be in bursts of only a few weeks, or a month at most, and that I will not be carrying all my worldly goods on my shoulders.

What is it about home that is so appealing? Even when we've moved out of our family home, isn't there something so comforting about being around the old dining table, tucking into one of Mum's dinners? You can't buy that feeling in a restaurant. The old wallpaper and creaky floors of your old room are far superior to the uniform features of a fancy hotel room. And by the sound of it, it's not just me.

I think it's not just the old family home that these people are pining for - it's the home they've set up, perhaps with a loved one. Home is the place where the people and things we've gathered together and treasure reside. It's where we know how things work and we don't have to think all the time. It's where we can make the calls. Auto-pilot can take over some of the brain, while the heart is more fully engaged. Everything is ours.

There is the other side to all this, of course. One can spend entirely too much time at home, and become impatient to get out and see the world. Maybe a day trip, a holiday, or an OE of some kind. Or maybe the weather just sucks and you want to go somewhere sunny. No matter how well home treats us, we need variety. Most of us feel like we never get away enough. It's when you start packing for these trips that you realise how much stuff you use everyday that is neatly (or messily) compartmentalised in your home. How many little things are necessary to make everyday life possible. I always feel satisfied once I've come home and finally unpacked. Everything's back where it should be, and everything looks like it always does. I'm home.

Rant: In the post-feminist age

You know, I think the second world war is responsible for many detrimental effects to society. Apart from the obvious ones, like millions of dead people and general violence in the world, one which bugs me is the fact that while all the men went to war, the women moved out of their homes and into the workforce. And when the men came back, these women were like "What? You want to take my job away! I don't think so!" but then they got pregnant and became unhappy housewives. Then throughout the next few decades women decided they wanted to choose when (and if) home life was for them, and the career women was born.

Here's the problem - now that women have proved they can be a productive force in the workplace, society expects every women to desire a career. It's such a change in 50 years - the world went from no (married) women working, to every women having to.

Like most girls, I went along with it. I wondered what I wanted to be when I grew up, then realised that I would make no money from my passions (wildlife and writing) so chose a degree which best suited my strengths. Three jobs later, I'm completely disillusioned with the whole process, especially now that I'm married and I have a little home to look after and someone to cook for (don't get me wrong - we share the duties equally). I actually hate 'working'. I hate the getting up at un-natural times, I hate the traffic getting there, I hate the false little greetings, the queue of tedious tasks, the pathetic coffee banter, the mindset of needing to slave away just to make a corporate more money, the long afternoon with even more tedium, the stupid meetings, the jargon, the pressure... and I really hate getting home and absolutely not feeling like I have the energy or desire to make the most of the evening.

I think I realised I wasn't cut out for the workplace when I was engaged. My fiance and I were studying one of those books dispensing advice for couples like us. It was talking about the essential needs of men and women. One of the needs for men was to have a restful home, and for women was to have financial security. You may think these ideas outdated, but it struck a real chord with me. I do want to be the nurterer, who makes everything look just right, who cooks lovely meals and who greets her husband at the door. And of course he wants that - who wouldn't? What's the complication? Money, of course. He's still studying (though he does work as well), and we can't even afford the lovely food. The good news is that by the time we feel like having kids, he'll probably be making enough to support me. But it's going to be a tough road in the meantime - me feeling trapped and him feeling guilty.

I don't want to sound ungrateful. I like the idea of supporting him. But why does the workplace have to suck so much? Am I the only one who doesn't have any career aspirations? People look at you funny when you say you don't have a five year plan for your career. It just doesn't fulfil me. Funny how when you first get introduced to someone, they always ask, "what do you do?" which of course translates to occupation. Why must our jobs so much define who we are?

It seems that some of the world shares my views on not believing everything hardcore feminists would tell us. There was a documentary on recently showing how many young Mums (in the US) are choosing now to stay at home. Their mother's generation saw it as a priveledge to go out and work, but they see it as a right to stay at home. Good on them (as long as they're not in debt or on welfare or anything). I really think it's important for a mother to be with her child in its formative years. There has been much published on how much more stable kids are when they've had this quality time. Probably a lot of the violence and problems in society could be prevented if kids just had a stable home life with a mother and father... but that's another story.

I better stop this rant now. Wish me luck as I look for another trapping, I mean job. Or wish that I'll finish my novel soon and it will sell millions, either one.

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12 March update - Looks like I'm not alone in feeling this way...

Are you there, Naomi?

I'm sorry, but why is Paul Holmes attempting to operate the telephone all by himself on his new show? On both of the occasions that I have tuned in, he has had trouble getting the person on the other end of the line. Either they don't appear at all, or it's a different person. I'm sure the man tonight, to whom Paul responded, "My, that's a deep voice you have, Naomi" will be psychologically scarred (although it was quite amusing to us onlookers).

It's nice that they're trying to make Paul look like he's in control of everything, but he obviously doesn't know how to work it properly. The man would have more credibility if someone else was pushing the buttons (the right ones) for him.

Just a small comment on the content of tonight's last topic - why was Paul interviewing a Maori language publicist on the topic of supermarket staff in Grey Lynn? It hardly seemed appropriate. Surely someone from the supermarket trade would have been better - either from management or someone from the shop floor. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are there that may Maori people in Grey Lynn anyway?

Rant: ish

We are turning into the world of the “ish”.

“What time will I meet you?”
“Let’s see… I can make it by 2…ish. I’ll call you.”

It’s all so approximate. You never quite know when anything is going to happen. I blame it on cell phones. Before mobile technology, you had to be on time, so you’d plan your day with enough time to get places. Now, we’re always calling or texting, “On my way”, “Will be five minutes late”, “Stuck in traffic”. The cell phone is an excuse for putting far too many activities into your day – because even if you get behind you can always let people know.

I feel sorry for the few people who get there on time. You then have to relay the messages: “John’s running late”, “Kate might not make it”, “Susan will be here soon” and twiddle your thumbs while the “ish”s to turn up.

I think it would be a very freeing exercise to leave the cell phone at home for the day, or even for the week. You can only be contacted when you’re in the office. You can only schedule so many things, because you have to be on time. Maybe you’ll even be early!

Imagine going on holiday and not being able to check your messages – even personal ones. Could you handle being in complete isolation? Isn’t that what holidays used to be about? We’re so afraid we’ll miss something, or be “out of the loop”. In truth, constantly being in so many loops can get exhausting.

Remember when we weren’t always talking to people all day, we’d actually have things to catch up on face to face. A little mystery in life. Wouldn’t that be nice?