Rant: Desperate to be a Housewife
So why did all of our teachers, role models and other leaders always tell us that we should spend our formative years solely preparing for this disappointment? Why didn’t they tell us that even if we slogged through our uni years and graduate with flying colours, we’d still be stuck with thousands of other graduates in the same un-fulfilling jobs? At least the let-down wouldn’t be so bad. At least we’d be prepared for the daily grind. But they would get us so excited about “our callings”, neglecting to tell us that if we chose anything half exciting it would probably lead to unstable employment at best, and that the more regular career paths would lead to daily dread.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken Home Ec at college. Surely learning how to run a successful household is more important than calculus? It completely baffles me how people can be so ambitious and strive to work longer hours and incorporate more stress into their lives (aka promotion). I have absolutely none of this ambition. My main goal in life right now is to finish off my novel, fight to get it published, and make enough money from it so that I can take a break to write the next one. In other words, I strive to leave the corporate world behind and focus on domestic matters. The long-term goals involve is for my husband, whose chosen passion will actually earn some money, to be the “breadwinner” and “bring home the bacon”. Will I actually get to enjoy life before the kids come along though? This is my dilemma. And this is the end of my rant. More upbeat, quirky posts in my usual tone to follow soon.
Labels: achievement, ambition, housewife, rant, work
4 Comments:
Hello friend,
Your longings remind me of one of the chracters in the movie "Mona Lisa Smile." One of the girls, who has all this aptitude and was accepted into law school decided that she wanted to be a wife instead and support her husbands career ambitions. She states to Julie Roberts' character that "you told me I could be anything I wanted to be...this is what I want." I fully agree with that sentiment. Although I live in the US where the social environment may be a bit different from where you are, I yearn for a time when it was considered noble and honorable to be a wife and homemaker. I enjoy my job as a scientist, and it is a great way to help pay the bills, but I much prefer the days I have when I can stay at home and do "domestic" stuff. Certainly not the norm for a 20-something newlywed these days, isn't it?
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I do know of other 20-something newlyweds who feel the same way, but society in general does tend to look down on women who don't feel the need to "have it all". I think it's possible to have too much.
I've just visited your website - it's fantastic. I love your poem "A Wedding Song". I'll certainly be back.
Yes, you've stumbled upon the profound truth that yes, it is ulimately fulfilling to pour one's passion into hearth and home and the raising of one's children. And yes, so many young women are led (pushed?) down the path of "Achieve! Achieve!" without really understanding what it is they are supposed to be "achieving."
Then, alas, they come up empty-handed.
I have been blessed beyond measure to raise my children (full time) over the last 13 years, and still going strong. And as a writer, let me tell you that writing blends BEAUTIFULLY with at-home motherhood! The best of both worlds, truly.
May you find the deepest desires of your heart!
(And Jane Austen is my favorite author, too!)
So nice to see another Kiwi blog while surfing through Blog Explosion. I am a full time SAHM and we made the consious choice 18 years ago when our first son was born that I would be a "housewife"
The world does not always give kudos where it is due to most of the mothers out there doing what mothers do raising their families :)
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