Goldfish wanders 2km from pond

A chubby wee goldfish dubbed Nemo was miraculously found 2km from his Mosgiel pond after he was washed away by floodwater last Wednesday.

A neighbour was walking his dog along a road on Sunday morning when he saw a flash of gold in a mud-walled ditch.

As a farmer collected eels stranded by the flood on a nearby paddock, the man and his dog stopped to see the colour in the mess.

He recognised it as his neighbour's 2-year-old goldfish, one of three lost when the devastating Taieri flood rushed through their properties, and all along the road.

"It was just incredible, in the middle of all that destruction was a goldfish everyone thought was dead - that should have been dead," Ab Oskam said yesterday.

"He had been taken away by that horrible brown water, and there he was, about 2km away, swimming in the debris and happy as can be."

Mr Oskam, 66, made the long walk home to tell neighbours Julie and Craig Struthers that a "little surprise" waited down the road.

"We couldn't believe it, it was like a miracle, that such a delicate wee thing could survive the flood and all the rubbish caught in it," said Mrs Struthers.

"All of our other animals managed to survive, but we were sure that our three goldfish would never be back."

The trio returned to the ditch, where the newly named Nemo was scooped to safety and taken to the pond, lined with polythene rescued from the debris, back home.

Mr and Mrs Struthers then fruitlessly searched neighbouring ditches for his two companions - another coloured orange, and one white and blue-black.

The fish remained the only casualties in a menagerie of 12 sheep, nine hens, seven rabbits, two dogs, a cat and a pig - many helped to safety by Mr Oskam on the day of the flood.

Pleased to have added to the collection, Mr Oskam said Nemo seemed as well as he was before the flood; but, even after a 2km swim, he might have put on some weight. "He must have spent all that time eating the worms caught in the flood," Mr Oskam said.

- OTAGO DAILY TIMES

Something Fishy

An Aussie woman was caught with 51 live tropical fish on her body as she arrived at Melbourne Airport on a flight from Singapore, after customs officials became suspicious of “flipping” noises coming from her skirt. The woman was wearing an apron of plastic water-filled bags containing the fish, under her clothes.

Wow. Imagine how long it would have taken for her to get that outfit ready. Did she really think no-one would notice the flipping?

Holy mackerel! Fish attacks angler

Isn't that headline hilarious? Here's the article from the Herald.

BRISBANE - A Queensland fisherman suffered the ultimate revenge when a mackerel jumped into his boat and floored him -- and then got away.

In what he called a bad case of "fishy's revenge", Glen Hopper suffered bruised ribs, cuts to his face and arms and a dented ego when the 1.5m fish jumped out of the water and hit him on Sunday morning.

"It felt like I'd just run into a brick wall, because I was going 20 knots one way and it was speeding the opposite direction," the 43-year-old Sunshine Coast man said today.

"I remember it coming out the water and the next thing I knew I'm in the back of the boat winded, trying to get my breath."

Mr Hopper, who said he had set out to catch a haul of mackerel on Mooloolah River, was in his 4m tinnie when the "freakish" mishap occurred.

He said the mackerel, which he guessed weighed about 30kg, shot out of the water and into his boat, hitting him in the chin and chest.

It knocked the recreational fisher out of his seat and sent him tumbling backwards before spearing back into the water.

"I remember thinking 'What am I doing back here and how come I can't breathe?'," Mr Hopper said.

Mr Hopper, a scientist, said he had taken the day off work to recuperate from his injuries, which included grazes to his chin and arms caused by the fish's sharp fins.

He initially feared he had suffered a collapsed lung but doctors believed he was badly bruised.

A sheepish Mr Hopper said he never explained to his boss exactly why he needed the day off.

But he admitted he was something of a joke among his mates after retelling his unusual version of "the one that got away".

"It's fishy's revenge I suppose. It's been a bit of a laugh with my friends," Mr Hopper said.

"I've seen them come out of the water before but not at me."

***

Imagine if he'd rung up his boss and told the truth...

"Hi. I, uh, can't come into work today. Yeah, I was... hit by a fish."